Short forms:
MH- My heart
MB- My brain
Love is
like a drug in our system , powerful and lethal than any kind of alcohol available in this civilized world .It can take you crazy heights of being
high as no weed would do.
Phew..
Every time he called me“Baby” that night
, my heart beat increased a million times.
Every time he said he missed me, my heart skipped a beat.
Every time he told me 'I wana hug you' , I shivered & felt a current running from tip to toe of my body .
All my life I have been a 'cliche lovey-dovey' critique. I used to roll my eyes at those silly lovers and even passed nasty remarks like " How wanna be ..” . Each time I saw another Bolywood actress holding a pillow and hugging it thinking of their lover I would change the channel on TV. How on earth , I was
doing the same thing when he told me 'I wana hold u tight ' (Yeah..
tell me about it ).. I blushed innumerable times and
repeated 'I miss you ' for million times times and clutched
the pillow tighter each time I thought it’s high time we met. How on earth was
I feeling this kinda chemical reaction in my head??(or was it my heart) . This surprised the hell outta me .
Phew.. I
was behaving like a 15 year old school girl and I hated myself for loosing control .. and
finally could not hold it in and said.. “Love
you” .. I m in love with you.. I knew it wont work.. I knew he dint.. But
did it matter to me?? No.. not at all.. It was 5:30 AM and I dint wanna
leave him and sleep.. Hold on.. Don’t I have a class in 2 hours?? I reached out
for my phone to set an alarm for 7:40 AM and slept. (Supposedly.. AM.. It was
set for 7:40 PM) I have a
mental alarm in my head so I wake up at the exact time.. I was
thinking non-stop what happened the last night standing in the shower.. when I
realize.. “Shit.. The water is cold.. “ Shivering but smiling I got
dressed and each time I looked at the mirror I blushed.. I could feel the pink
thingy travelling all the way to the center of my cheeks. How many times have I loathed those wana be “Romeo-Juliet” who talk all night repeating "Kya soch rae ho??" ( What are you thinking)? .. "Kuch nahi" ( Nothing) over and over again..
I could not believe I was doing the same thing.. all night…I shook my thoughts
and put on my eyeliner. Ayesha .. my friends called out
as I was late as always … I have heard love makes you look glowing and pretty .Oh well, I don’t know about that but it did made me sleepy for
sure.With visible puffy eyes and dark circles welcome to the arena of love !
2 hrs of sleep
and air-conditioning during car ride made me yawn 1000 times and I wished to
sleep right then and there. But I did drag myself to Project management class. Once I entered
class and lifted my sleepy hanging head , I saw guys, so many of them. OMG totally cute ones too .In fact me and Tasha were only 2 girls in the class? Italian men certainly know how to look fashionable , how do anyone resist talking to them? Phew.. I am in love .. I am in love .. I am in love.. I reminded myself .
Once I
took my favorite corner seat and Tasha and Danny sat behind me .. I started feeling
my eyes closing down.I forced myself to stay up and at least to appreciate the
abundance of cute looking guys in my class. But all I could think
was about Aarav. “That’s some serious thingy Ayesha.. You are not even looking
at cuties..phew..get over it” .. (Yeah.. my brain(MB) and my heart(MH) talk
to each other) ..
I was caught
day dreaming by prof.. bit my lower lip as in the old Bolywood style and
started writing something..when I realized what I was doing.. I saw that I have
been doing the FLAME game with Aarav and Ayesha written
together. (F as in
friends..L as in love.. A as in adore.. M as in Marriage on cards and E as in enemy..) "What??" MB
was disgusted by MH’s domination over my body today. Me doing that kiddo stuff
confused my own-self.. I blushed and Tasha was like… “You ok? You look pink..
Did you eat? “ . I smiled and
confirmed that its due to the heat.. "Heat what heat??? It's cold in
class ! At least don’t insult me with your dumb answers” MB scolded me. Everyone
knows I cant bear heat so my friends left me alone . I continued taking out love
percentage and smiling. I was even humming songs unaware and somehow caught
attention. So,I decided to shut up to avoid any further stupidity.
MB started
it’s work now..as it does.. “de-motivating me ”. In my head I thought “May be you
are not good enough for him.. May be you are too dark , too short , too fat “
. But somehow MH wont leme down today.. I got my mirror and check myself out in class (Yeah.. I actualy did that..Call me narcissist ) . I smiled and MH was like.. “You r cute”..
I smiled again. Every moment that was spent last night flashed back in front of me . The way I was breathing and was nervous as if it’s my 1st crush.
Is it a crush?? “It is much more than it.. Aish.." MH saz ."Well
thanks" .. Oopsie did I just say that out
loud?? As every one turned towards me , I smile foolishly . Our professor was not happy
at all. Thank goodness I have some amount of presence of brains which answered the questions shot round after
round were fairly answered by me.
Phew.. when heart and brain is on war.. I m
the one who suffers.
MH refused
to go back to real time scenario that day and reminded me of each and every dialogue of last night . I remembered saying “ Aarav I never though we will run outta topics while talking..” .. We
have spoken almost everyday.. and discussed world politics to cars to guys in
class or chics he met through his friends.. But tonight was a different night..
MH started throwing questions on me.. (Dat’s MH’s favorite thingy by d way)
..it said.. “Aish.. Do u think u guys would have kissed if you were
together?” I could not believe I never met the guy for whom I am falling in love so intensly and madly.
MB was busy with case studies by that time so MH was not even contradicted
for that thought . I could feel heat rushing through my cheeks and I
answered to my heart's innocent question “may be..” I don’t know what I was reading in the case study
anymore. I continued answering MH’s question , ”May be.. for the longest time on this mortal earth and
anywhere else in this universe , we would have kissed till we got breathless or till
we gasped some oxygen.No.. may be till we would have fallen asleep. It would have been
the most blissful smooch ever between practical strangers in the history of mankind or even for any green li'll
aliens if they existed . It would probably be recorded in some kind of Guinness book of world record for being a longest kiss . May be..” I was clearly the last one to
finish the case study.Rather than being nervous about it I smiled and bit my lower lip again . Tasha did
not let that pass unnoticed. She wrote a note saying “We need to talk Ayesha”
. I shook my head and dint answer after reading it. After the discussion on
the case study during lunch Tasha teased me for being naughty with someone last
night.(Americans.. Phew they can dig some serious stuff if they wanna do so..)
. I told her (I had to tell Tasha) everything about Aarav. She concluded " hmm.. U in love.. U in
love?? U in love!! Aish.. I don’t know what to tell you girl.. He doesn’t love
u.. and still wants you in his life.. I don’t get it? I don’t wanna hear anyone taking advantage of you." I
smiled and said.. " He
is the kinda guy whom I protect of being taken advantage of" . Tasha was concerned.She dint
want me being broken and shattered due to a relationship with no future. Rather than being a snob I actually was touched by her concern and thought to myself "Am I not lucky to have them as my friends ?" aww.. I hugged her to ease her up on the tension.When you are so far from home , its so important have such honest and close friends car about you . Even if they scold you it feels wonderful .
That night after our video call , after talking
to Aarav I felt butterflies in my
stomach . Am I in love with him? Or am I being crazy. This is the first time ever uncertainty didn't scare me. I smiled all the time and am still smiling. I don’t
care if he noticed my Facebook status messages I wrote thinking of him. I don’t know
if he thought about me last night at all. All I know is love didn't feel
anything like this ever before and I have never been so crazily confident as
I am at this time. I know ,it would sound crazily bolywoodish but all songs in
my playlist and radio made me smile and blush as if they were written for this very moment. I recently heard this cliche dialogue stating “Pyar kahan kisi ka poora hota hai.. Pyar ka pehla akshar
adhoora hota hai..” !! ( Noone 's love is complete coz ... aah forget it.. It's better in hindi :)
)
And about me, I am just in love with myself . Who cares if this turns into a relationship?Need not all roads have destinations , the road is beautiful enough to make one feel on cloud nine . I had the pleasure of discovering a whole new side of me and I wish i could hold my tongue from saying the stupid thing called " I love you" !
PS: Wrote a fiction story after a
long time..Hope you readers like it :)
FYI .. Ayesha is not me :)
Amrita Priyadarsini
